We here at SFG are happy to present the next interview from The School of Survival. Judy O’Dea is the Head of Research and Development at the school and it’s Science Expert. By bringing you this interview, SFG is bringing you, our wonderful readers, one step closer to surviving The Zombie Apocalypse.
Along with following our interviews with the most brilliant minds in this very exclusive field, we would like to remind our readers that survival is ultimately up to them. Hence, we also recommend keeping a healthy skill level up by playing games such as Nazi Zombies and Left 4 Dead. Also, keep an eye out for the upcoming RPG Outbreak Undead, which promises to be a survivalists best friend for preparing for the inevitable uprising. And while you are taking a break from training, keep an eye on your Netflix Queue for instant access to movies such as Zombieland and Night of the Living Dead.
Now without further ado, our exclusive interview:
SFG: Can you tell us a little about your duties at The School of Survival? Sort of a day in the life of Judy O’Dea?
Judy O’Dea: Well, I begin each day by taking a precise inventory of every item in the lab; I have named all of my conical flasks – Barry went missing one day, it was very upsetting. I keep a close eye on all of the readings on my test subjects and take copious notes. Lunch is generally a chicken Caesar salad followed by a smoothie of wheatgrass, kiwis and angel tears. Then, I meet with Dr Dale for our one-on-one session which I’m afraid I cannot give details of. Before bed, I run a quick marathon and eat a Kitkat.
SFG: Would you please explain how you became involved with The School of Survival and what led to your being chosen by Dr. Dale as the Head of his Research and Deveopment team?
Judy O’Dea: I first met the good doctor many years ago and was astonished and humbled by his wisdom. I set to work studying at the finest universities in the world from Guatemala to Mozambique to learn everything I could about zombology. I was chosen as had of the R&D team as I have the highest IQ of the group (except for Dr Dale) at a whopping 72 points.
SFG: We understand that the UK doesn’t have alot of Guns and Ammo just lying around. With that in mind, what can be used as an effective makeshift weapon that can be found in the average household? You know, something that can withstand the horde of zombies throughout the apocalypse?
Judy O’Dea: Obviously this is a matter of personal preference but I would go for a broom. One end can be sharpened into a big pointy stick (BPS) and the bristly end can be used to clean up the mess afterwards as hygene is important in the apocalypse.
SFG: Speaking of the scavenging part that is key to our survival, What sort of clothing would you suggest? Something to camoflage for stealth mode, or perhaps we should disguise ourselves as Zombies the way Bill Murray did in the film Zombieland and blend in?
Judy O’Dea: I would certainly not advocate trying to blend in – not even Donald could make a convincing enough zombie to fool the undead hordes. My suggestion would be a lycra catsuit as not only would it look fetching but it would also mean that you could easily escape the grasp of zombies and would not snag it on fences.
SFG: From our previous interview with Dr. Dale, we learned that having a team is one of the most important elements in surviving The Apocalypse. What we would like to know though, is it better to have as many people as possible in our line of defense or should we keep the numbers to a smaller group? Also, what do we arm our team members with?
Judy O’Dea: As I said, arming yourself is really down to whatever works for you but I would say that 4 is the ideal number of team members to have. Less than 4 means you may struggle to barricade, defend and gather the necessary supplies. Larger groups may squabble leading to a power struggle, insubordination and eventually, death.
SFG: Considering that The Apocalypse can happen at any given time, are there certain areas that we should start avoiding now? Subways or train stations for instance?
Judy O’Dea: Any areas of high population are to be avoided as the disease will spread quickly. People will flock to transport routes, military bases, hospitals, shopping malls, places of worship and police stations so stay clear of these places. Also, keep away from fast food joints as the food is bad and you’ll get fat.
SFG: We here at SFG understand the need for testing your weapons, clothing and scenarios in order to get the most accurate results possible and although we have no problem with your methods, some of our gentler readers will want to know if any of the homeless were harmed in your testing process?
Judy O’Dea: I can assure you that no homeless people were hurt in the testing process. Their deaths were quick and painless.
SFG: Moving on, Is there a chance that the zombies may in some ways evolve enough to perhaps be trained into a workforce? If so, could their physical bodies be preserved to withstand the natural decaying process?
Judy O’Dea: Oh SFG, I thought you were smarter than that. Really, I’m disappointed. Zombies will not evolve as the only thing driving them is the need for the zombie ‘virus’ to pass on through biting much like Toxoplasmosis Gondii (which I’m sure you’re familiar with). Any zombie bodies should be destroyed immediately.
SFG: Last, but certainly not least. Could you describe the working relationship between you and Dr. Dale?
Judy O’Dea: In a word: intimate. It’s a beautiful and symbiotic relationship that is a meeting of hearts, minds, souls and bodies. Obviously, I am his inferior but he has been kind enough to show me a better world, a world without fear, a world where we can truly be free and for that I am forever in his debt.
We here at The Farm would like to thank Judy O’Dea for taking the time to participate in this interview. And while we totally know what Toxoplasmosis Gondii is, our less gifted readers can become more informed by clicking here.
Keep on the lookout for our next interview with Donald Straite, the school’s survival expert.
Missed the interview with the survival genius Dr. Dale? Catch up here.
